Friday, April 25, 2008

You see who i am, but you don't know who i was.....you see what I have, but you don't know what i lost!!!!

This morning when I woke up I was thinking about all that I have been through in the past 5 years and man it hasn't been pretty. I have gone through some major trials and searched for so long to find myself. I used to wonder if I would ever be happy again or if I would ever find the girl that was lost inside of me. I do not want to bore you with the details of my misery but I wanted to say thank you so much to my Sister for always being there to cry with, talk to or even those silent phone calls.....you know I will be the first to say that we didn't always get along, which had a lot to do with me (Shalene this will probably be the only time you hear me admit this and I know you are eating this up). But something happened over the last few years, I grew up and realized that all this time I pushed away the ones that I loved the most hoping that I wouldn't hurt them.....when in all reality I hurt them the most. No matter how hateful and rude I was Shalene without a doubt was always there for me and I can't thank her enough. My lifeline was Shalene no matter how many miles where in between us, that didn't stop her from being my comfort. I have had some major losses which I hope I never have to go through again.....I can say that for the first time in 5 years I can look myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am now. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger......I must be the strongest women in the world if that is true. So Shalene, please know how much I love you and I am thankful to you for the example you have always been to me in my life. I can only hope that one day soon I will be able to obtain all the blessings that I witnessed in your amazing journey! I love you Sis!!!

Quote of the day:

In our eager efforts to improve, sometimes the most basic ingredient for real improvement is neglected: a deep and meaningful realization of our divine connection- our relationship with God.—Lloyd D. Newell, Divine Connection

4 comments:

Bowlby Family Organazation said...

i hope that you find all that your heart desires, include your Heavenly Father and i promise your dreams will come true. love you!

Analee said...

Wow. Wow. Wow. You know, the time always come when we are so grateful for our trials and the things we have been through because we begin to truly love ourselves and we realize that we are who we are in part because of what we have experienced. Those things we go through help to to relate to others and help them with true empathy, (ie your help to your aunt concerning your cousin) She has expressed to me more than once that you have given her some peace about a very unpeacful circumstance. Thank you for your honesty. And yes, I saw who you were, who you are and who you will be. I love them all. I love you Jade.

Jenna and Lafe said...

Hey girl I really enjoyed reading your blog I hope everything is going good. I want you to know I think you are great and I hope you come to visit soon!!!

Analee said...

Hey there Jadie-poo--I keep looking for another post. I'm waiting. And tell your sister I am checking her's too.